It was one of those nights.  Scattered patches of turbulent weather, just bad enough to foul up nearly every flight coming in and going out.  Periodically the rain would let up just enough to let another plane land, and a weary band of travelers would file down the ramp and onto the brightly lit, purple carpeted concourse, clearly glad to be home.

                “There he is!” shouted a little girl.  “Daddy!  Daddy!”  Breaking away from her harried young mother, the child tore across the terminal and bulldozed her way through the wall of travelers.  She headed directly for a tall man, overcoat slung casually over one shoulder, a briefcase in one hand, whose face, at the sound of his daughter’s voice, had erupted into a delighted grin.  Oblivious to his fellow travelers, the man dropped to one knee, his free arm outstretched to the joyous child.

                Four people, strangers, sitting in close proximity to the gate, waiting patiently for the newly arrived plane to be readied for its next flight, looked up at the first sound of the child’s voice.  As the affectionate little tableau unfolded in front of them, each smiled a bit wistfully, looked away, then looked back.

                The young wife reached her husband’s side and, giving him an affectionate kiss, she took hold of one arm.  The little girl promptly grabbed hold of her father’s free hand, and began chattering happily as the trio walked away, heading towards baggage claim.

                One by one, each of the four who watched, caught the others’ eye and they smiled again, only a little self-consciously this time.

                A few moments later, the last of the arriving passengers had finally straggled off, and the terminal was all but empty.  It looked as if these four were the only ones booked on the outbound flight.

                The terminal had that timeless, empty, impersonal glare.

                “Wouldn’t it be nice if kids stayed small?” asked one of the four, conversationally.

                “Wouldn’t it be nice if they stayed happy to see you?” added the second, with a grin.

                “Wouldn’t it be nice if they continue to like you?” said the third with a laugh.

                “Wouldn’t it be nice if they just continued to speak to you?” said the fourth with a sigh.

                “You, too?” asked one, arching an eyebrow.

                A nod.

                “Welcome to the club,” said another.

                “Don’t feel like the Lone Ranger,” commented the last.

                Another silence.

                “My little girl stopped speaking  to me when I couldn’t make it home for her 16^th birthday,” said one of the men softly, speaking to no one in particular.  He gazed out the window at the rain-spattered runway.

                “I was traveling on business,” he said, almost to himself.  “I promised her I’d be back in time.  But I wasn’t just in another city, I was in another country.  On another continent.  I had my reservations to be back right on schedule for her party, but at the last minute the client asked me to postpone my departure for just one day.  There wasn’t really any choice.  No way my company was going to let me leave right in the middle or negotiations to fly halfway around the world for a child’s birthday party.  I called her at her mother’s house, apologized, tried to explain.  My daughter didn’t want to hear it.  I’ve called.  I’ve written.  There’s nothing but hostility there.  It’s been ten years now.

Ten years.  She got married.  I wasn’t invited to her wedding.  He stepfather walked by little girl down the aisle.  There’s no way to describe how much that hurts.”

                No one spoke.

                After a moment the distinguished looking black man spoke.  “Sixteen is a tough year.  That’s when my son stopped speaking to me.  I promised my boy a car for his 16^th birthday.  Promised Tyrone since he was ten years old that I was going to get him his own car when he turned 16.  When he was fifteen his mother was diagnosed with cancer.  We had her with us for eight more months.  But the last two….”his voice trailed off and he shook his head sadly.  He took a deep breath.  “Between the medical bills and the funeral….I had three younger children still at home.  No one to care for them.  There was no way that car was going to happen.  Tyrone stopped speaking to me.  Ran away from home at seventeen.  I never heard from him again.  It like to broke my heart.  Goin’ on twelve years now….I pray for that boy every night.”

                Silence echoed in the shadows.

                “I promised my daughter a kitten,” the petite blonde woman said.  “We picked it out and brought it home and she named it Puff.  I never saw her so happy.  Her stepbrother turned out to be violently allergic to it.  He couldn’t breathe.  I called 911.  We had to rush him to the hospital that same night.  The attack was so severe the doctor said there was no choice.  The kitten had to go.  I told Jeanne we couldn’t keep Puff, we’d have to find another home for him.  She exploded, said I was only doing it to hurt her.  She called her father.  Her Dad and I had been divorced a couple of years earlier.  Jeanne and the kitten went to live with my former husband and his new wife.  Jeanne was twelve.  She’s never spoken with me again.  Not even once.  Wouldn’t return my calls.  Her father said it was my own fault because I had broker a promise to her.  He told me he had no intention of telling her to call me.  Said it was my problem, not his.  It’s been eight years since my little girl spoke to me.

I guess her Did just didn’t want her to understand.”

                In the distance a cleaning crew switched on a vacuum.  No one spoke for several minutes.

                “My son stopped speaking to me because I couldn’t pay for his college, “the woman in the cream silk blouse said finally.  She gazed out the window and absentmindedly tugged on a single strand of pearls.  Blue lights were blurred reflections on the rain slick runway.

                “His Dad and I had been divorced for a number of years.  I remarried.  My husband and I had a small business and we were fairly comfortable.  The college my son and his father chose was horribly expensive and nobody consulted me, since he had a partial scholarship, I didn’t want to disappoint him.  Toward the end of his freshman year our home burned to the ground.  An electrical short.  Almost everything we had went up in smoke.  Fortunately nobody was hurt.  The insurance….”   She laughed ruefully and shook her head. 

                “The company told us they hadn’t received the premium, and that our policy had lapsed.  We weren’t covered.  It was ghastly.  The first year totally drained our savings.  One week all we had left to eat was a loaf of bread and half a jar of peanut butter.  There we were, two grownups, rolling pennies to buy food for the cat.  I couldn’t qualify for the following year’s student loan, of course.  My son transferred his scholarship to a reasonably priced state university and his father paid the tuition.  Even though I’m still paying off a student loan the size of a mortgage, it seems I’m officially guilty of reneging on my promise.  He hasn’t been home, and he’s refused to speak to me for nearly four years now.  I miss my son terribly.”

                Silence.

                Total strangers.  Slightly embarrassed.  For no apparent reason, they had just voiced to each other a pain which cut so deeply they could barely voice it to themselves.

                Overhead, the speaker suddenly came to life.  “Flight 5326 now boarding.”

                Four sighs.  A quiet flurry as coats, briefcases, purses and carry-on bags were gathered and tickets produced.  No one spoke as they boarded.

                Eat sat alone, sharing a seat with their memories, as the plane climbed heavily into the lonely velvet night.

                Nothing was stronger than saying, “You have my word.”  There was a sacred quality to one’s word that was not taken lightly, and breaking a promise was no small transgression.  Business is about keeping promises:  “I’ll call you tomorrow,” or “I’ll have that order to you by next Tuesday.”  These are personal assurances that you will do something, and it is backed up by your word and your trustworthiness.  A promise is only as credible as the person giving it.

                In a busy workday, you might make dozens of promises, from the seemingly trivial to the critical.  Do you even realize all the promises you make, or are you always saying “I’ll get back with you tomorrow,” yet never make the call or make it two weeks later?   It might not seem important to you, but to the person waiting for your call the issue might not be as insignificant.  Promises made without the serious intention of fulfillment are lies.   And your credibility takes a giant dive with every promise, no matter how small, you fail to keep.  This is not an ethical way to communicate and it will at some time and in some way come back to haunt you.

                The bottom line is that you need to have the highest regard for ethical, honest communication in the workplace.  No excuses or backpedaling, but a grounded principle that what comes out of your mouth is what you really mean.  There’s nothing more important to your success than this well-known motto, “Say what you mean and mean what you say.”

                Do not trust your memory for all the promises that come out of your mouth!  Jot them down on your calendar and follow up like any other deadline.  You might be surprised to learn just how many times you phrase something as a promise that you don’t really consider as such. 

                Making false promises tends to be:

                *Manipulative – We attempt to get others to do what we want by making promises we cannot keep or never intend to keep.  It becomes an issue of what you say and not what you do. 

                *Self-centered – We often make promises go get someone of our back or we want them to believe that we are more than we really are. 

                *Disrespectful of others – By not keeping our promises or commitments we are in essence disrespecting others.

                I read recently about an incident where a former executive of a company made a commitment

via e-mail to a third party.  It was obvious that he didn’t research the cost of his promise, nor did he get anyone else’s approval.  The company CEO was not aware of the obligation until the other party brought it to his attention.  When he learned that the commitment was in excess of six figures, he gasped.  Several perfectly rational and even legal ways out immediately popped into his head.

                The CEO remembered, however, that one of the core values of his company and himself personally was to honor commitments, even when it is difficult, expensive, or inconvenient.

                In the day when a promise and a handshake were all that were needed for any type transaction, contracts were largely foreign and unnecessary.  In fact, to insist on one would have been an insult.  Why?  Because a person’s word was his bond, and no one was willing to risk their social capital or relational equity by breaking their word.

                It is frightening how times have changed!  Most of can recall at least a couple of times in the past month where people blatantly dishonored their own word to us.

                Keeping your word is the essence of integrity.  Integrity is required for trust.  Trust is necessary for influence.  Influence is essential for impact.

                When people hear your name, what comes to mind?  Is it some incompetent, inconsiderate person who does not follow through, or is it a person of integrity who always keeps his promises or, in the rare instance when a promise cannot be kept on time,  notifies the other party as soon as possible with a bona fide reason (as opposed to a flimsy excuse).  A reputation as a person who keeps his word in all situations will earn you the respect and trust of others, and this can carry you far in business and in life.

                Every time you fail to keep a promise, you are literally throwing away a bit of your credibility.

                Therefore, we would all do well to, like the CEO in the story above, honor commitments, even when it is difficult, expensive, or inconvenient.

                Everybody in this world has a strong desire to improve himself or herself and to rise high.  It is a natural desire.  Indeed it is a good ambition and everybody must try to achieve that goal, but you must try to improve yourself through hard work, sincere efforts and patience.  Any wrong method used to improve yourself is bound to lead you to trouble.  Such means often get exposed and results in humiliation and disgrace.

                Improvement made through hard work and sincere efforts is long lasting and useful, but an attempt for improvement made through copying or through wrong methods proves to be disastrous.  Such improvement does not bring in the desired benefit.  Here is the story of a crow that dreamt of looking to be more beautiful by using borrowed plumes.

                Once there was a crow.  It had a burning desire of looking to be more beautiful.  The crow lived in a big Banyan tree, where a number of peacocks also lived.  It saw the beautiful plumes of the peacocks and cherished a desire to look like one of them.  If often cursed itself for being ugly.  It scorned the whole crow community being black and ugly.  It had an ambition to improve like a peacock so that the people may praise it.

                In order to fulfill its ambition, it thought how to break away with the crow community.  After deep thinking it decided upon an ambitious plan.  It decided to collect dropped off feathers of the peacocks and fix them up into its own, so that it may look beautiful like the peacock.

                The poor crow never thought that only fixing of the feathers could not make it a peacock.  There are many other things such as color, size, and crest which are the essentials or a peacock.  After putting on the feathers of the peacock, the crow considered itself to be a peacock.  It was beside itself with joy.  It decided to go and live with the peacocks.  It took a long flight and reached the place where some peacocks were walking around.  It walked up and down among the peacocks.  The peacocks saw this strange bird with surprise.  It looked half crow and half peacock.  The peacocks are known for their self-pride.  They could not tolerate a crow posing to be a peacock.  They could not brook the presence of an imposter among themselves.  At once they pounced upon the crow and broke away some of its artificial feathers. The crow was able to save its life with great difficulty.  It flew at full speed for its life.

                The crow took a long flight and reached a place where some crows were perching.  It began to move about proudly among the crows. The crows took it to be different bird, resembling a peacock.  They could not brook the presence of a peacock among themselves; they attacked it, pecking it hard with their beaks.  Again the crow had to fly away for its life.  It was pained at heart and few to a lonely tree in the jungle.  It did not know what to do.  It though had tried to improve itself by fixing peacocks’ feathers into its own, but they could not make it a peacock.  It was not accommodated by the peacocks, rather it was attacked for being an imposter.  Not only this, even its own brethren, the crows, disowned it.  It was at a loss to know what to do now.  At last it tore off all of its peacock feathers and became a crow again.  It was only then that the crows owned it as one of them and accommodated it among themselves.  The foolish crow had a bitter experience.  It learned a lesson for life:  do not adopt unnatural and unfair methods for self-improvement and do not try to copy others.

                This is not just a story to read and enjoy.  It teaches us an important lesion that we should not try to improve ourselves only by imitating others but through hard work and sincere efforts.  We must not forego the moral ideals for attaining something.  The improper methods adopted stand in the way of desired achievements.  Such methods are sure to affect the desired results.  Even if we achieve something through such improper means, our achievement is not permanent.  It is sure to be short-lived.  You must avoid copying and cheating even in your exams, because it is not a proper means.

                You must try to improve yourself through moral and proper methods.  You must try to progress and rise high by putting in sincere efforts and hard work.  The earnest efforts made in attaining something bear fruit.  The attainment gained through hard work is real and long lasting.

                Another moral that we derive from the parable is that “Borrowed garments seldom fit well!”

  We must do everything on our own and should not copy others.  We must depend on borrowed efforts.  Such efforts are improper methods used for achieving something.  Attainment got through immoral methods is temporary and short-lived.

                Don’t fool yourself into thinking that people are too stupid to see through what you are doing when you just copy someone else.  You are the one that is fooling yourself, and, thus look the part of the fool!

                A large number of bills covering a wide variety of topics are being introduced and/or making their way through the legislature.  To track a specific bill, go to the General Assembly website at

www.legis.virginia.gov

                Some of the bills include:

                SB 4 would codify a version of the “Castle Doctrine” allowing physical, including deadly, force against an intruder who has committed an overt act against him or another person in the dwelling, without civil liability; SB67, SB429, SB553 and SB554 all deal with purchasing and transporting firearms;

                HB 1131 would require municipalities that hold elections in May to pay state costs associated with the elections; the price tag per election is $10,000 – $15,000;

                HB 408 would relax the formula for computing annual income and net worth for purposes of determining whether elderly or disabled taxpayers quality for real property tax relief;

                HB 375 would prohibit localities from adopting a workplace rule that prevents an employee from storing a lawfully possessed firearm and ammunition in his locked motor vehicle (this law does not apply to public school lots);

                SB 484 would require the use of ultrasound testing prior to the performance of an abortion;

                HB 1161 would put most pharmacies and drug stores under one electronic pseudoephedrine sales tracking system; this bill is aimed at curbing the production of methamphetamine by electronically monitoring the sales of nonprescription drugs, like pseudoephedrine, used to manufacture the illegal stimulant methamphetamine;

                HB 1035 attempts to charge the General Assembly with defining what “lost profits” and “lost

access” mean in the context of eminent domain;

                HB 754 would take away the option of localities to fingerprint people who apply for a concealed weapon permit;

                HB 569 would require registrars to check Department of Motor Vehicle records to determine if people registering to vote have documents proving citizenship, require the posting of notices regarding penalties for voter fraud, and require voters to show a photo ID; and,

                In education, the House passed a bill to allow localities optional school opening dates.  Home school parents will only have to turn in a list of subjects rather than a description of the curriculum.  A third school bill will establish training for school personnel in school safety with evidence-based anti-bullying tactics.

Tuesday, February 14, 12 – 1 p.m. MST

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Learn how to take charge of your unruly paperwork and the business bookkeeping tasks that have become disorganized during the year.  Discover steps that make your life simpler and save you time and money, whether you use the services of a tax preparer or file on your own.

                Also, find simple tips that work even when you are running out of time and that can help prevent an audit (or lost deductions) by ensuring that your information is accurate.

                You will know how to:

*Identify the paperwork that’s needed to prove that the numbers on your tax return are accurate;

*Check documents such as 1099s and W-2s for accuracy;

*Organize your information in a meaningful way for your accountant (or tax software), which also can save you money.

when her three year old sister mimics her every move.  Your teenage son, in dress and action, imitates his friends.  Your neighbor buys a new car, then all of a sudden you want a new car.

                Being imitated to some small degree could be somewhat flattering, but it is also often very annoying.  Just ask any woman who shows up at a function in her new dress, only to meet one of her supposed “friends,” who knew she had bought the garment, wearing the same thing!

                Your business or non-profit organization spends a lot of time and money developing a new website, newsletter format, programs, whatever.  Then, first thing you know, others are making attempts to mimic what you have developed.  On one level, you could feel flattered, because you must be doing something right because all the others want to be just like you.  When it happens the second time, it begins to be annoying.  The third time and beyond, it cannot be put off to coincidence

or even flattery, but the impurity of the motives come shining through.

                There is nothing wrong with allowing the work of others to inspire us to take our work to new levels.  At what point, however, does inspiration turn into plagiarism?  We were taught early in our school careers not to copy off anyone else’s paper, that it was cheating.  What makes some people think, then, that the same principle does not apply to grownups in business and community organizations?

                Some people think they are clever when they copy the work of others, but, let’s face it:  most of the attempts to copy someone’s original efforts end up being, at best, pitiful counterfeit reproductions which really fool no-one  because so many people know who really did it first.  It only makes the copier look like what he/she really is:  lazy and dishonest (too lazy to do their own work and dishonest enough to steal from someone else).

                There are a number of ways that one organization can, in effect, steal from another.  We are all aware of cases of industrial espionage, but what we are talking about here is about the more common and seemingly “socially acceptable” copying of programs and work product in the realm of advertising, etc. rather than the actual product manufacturing sense.

                There are non-profits which blatantly copy the successful programs of others.  Some even go so far as to send “spies” to infiltrate the meetings of other groups to try to get the ideas of others.  Even though many of the individuals think they are being clever, they generally fool no-one and only make themselves look very bad and undermine their own reputations.

                So rather than waste time and effort copying someone else and producing counterfeits, why not use that energy to innovate?  Come up with an original idea and apply yourself to doing something original and positive instead of just copying someone else.  You might be surprised at how good it feels to have, and act on, an original idea!  And it will also tend to enhance the respect others have for you and your abilities.

                There was an old man, a boy and a donkey.  They were going to town and it was decided that the boy should ride.  As they went along they passed some people who thought that it was a shame for the boy to ride and the old man to walk.  The man and boy decided that maybe the critics were right so they changed positions.  Later, they passed some more people who thought that it was a real shame for the man to make such a small boy walk.  The two decided that maybe they both should walk.

                Soon they passed some more people who thought that it was stupid to walk when they had a donkey to ride.  The man and the boy decided maybe the critics were right so they decided that they both should ride.  They soon passed other people who thought that it was a shame to put such a load on a poor little animal.  The old man and the boy decided that maybe the critics were right so they decided to carry the donkey.  As they crossed a bridge they lost their grip on the animal and it fell into the river and drowned.

                The moral of the story is…if you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your ___!

                The Senate voted on Feb. 1 to defeat a bill that would have required candidates running for local office to be identified on ballots by party label.  Similar legislation had already been defeated by the House Privileges and Elections Committee.

                BILL REQUIRING FULL-TIME REGISTRARS SENT TO MONEY COMMITTEES

                TEACHER SALARY INCREASES

                HB 547(tabled by House Appropriations Committee) and SB 553 (referred to Senate Finance Committee) provide that local school divisions may use any unexpended state funds to provide a one-time bonus to all teachers of up to 3 percent of the annual base salary.

                EMINENT DOMAIN

                SJ 3 and HJ 3, if passed, could require residents to pay, through higher taxes, the costs of “lost profits” and “lost access,” two new rights created by the amendment.

                HUMAN SERVICES

                Local governments are seeking restoration of more than $12 million in the proposed biennial budget to pay for community-based services that would assist a group of children with special education needs and their families.

                COST OF MANDATE RELIEF BILL MAY DOOM IT

                Mandates on local governments identified as “unfunded” by state agencies could be suspended by the governor under legislation referred to the Senate Finance Committee.

                WORKERS’ COMPENSATION BILLS DIE IN COMMITTEE

                Two bills that would have liberalized workers’ compensation rules and benefits were defeated recently.

                Here is the truth of the matter:  the only person that is responsible for getting you what you want in life is yourself.  The problem of the entitlement mentality is so far-reaching that even wealthy countries like the United States are facing great problems because of it.  Donald Trump and Robert Kiyosaki, in their book “Why We Want You to be Rich,” say, “The best way to solve the problem of bad financial results is to change our thoughts….That means losing the entitlement mentality….If we do not stop expecting the government to take care of us, we will continue to have the same results – a bankrupt nation filled with well-educated but financially needy people.”

                Nearly everyone seems to want an easy way out with someone else to take care of them.  Eight year-olds feel entitled to have a smart phone, sixteen year-olds a brand new car, college students a fancy condo, and first time job seekers want to start at the top despite their lack of experience or even any real skills.  Parents think their children should be chosen for cheerleading slots or sports teams because of the parent’s position in the community, not the child’s talent or skills.

                Although they look down on those who collect public assistance or unemployment unfairly because they know how to “work the system,” sometimes people in business are among the worst to try to get something for nothing.  There is nothing wrong with bartering or working out a fair trade.

However, instances of business persons working other systems with the same results (getting something for nothing) are myriad.  There is the person who always wants his fair share of expenses reduced for some reason or other:  dues to professional organizations or business leagues, trade show spaces, etc.  Then there are the people who consistently put off joining an organization but continue to “visit” at their functions and work the attendees for the good of their own business.  There are those who participate in community functions only for pay and will not volunteer any of their time or resources for the common good, but always expect elaborate recognition nonetheless.  Then there is the group who want free mailings, advertising, etc. for their business at the expense of the organization.  There are business owners who want to be subsidized on a relatively permanent basis by local governments just for the privilege of having their business located in their area.  Many people want to be chosen to serve on board or committees just to enhance their resumes without making any real contribution, yet get miffed when their “work” is not recognized and applauded at the level

they expected.  The list could go on and on, but the truth of the matter is that you alone have the ultimate power over what happens to you.  Get it through your head now that there is no entitlement, that the world and others in it owe you absolutely nothing.  Don’t waste your life and the good things that could come your way with a bit of sincere effort on your part, but get busy and make good things happen in your life and in your business, realizing that, ultimately, it is all really up to you!

                Next Autumn, when you see geese heading south for the winter, flying in a “V” formation, you might consider what science has discovered as to why they fly that way.  As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an uplift for the bird immediately following.  By flying in a “V” formation, the

whole flock adds at least 71 percent greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own. 

People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going more quickly and easily, because they are travelling on the thrust of one another.

                When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front.

If we have the sense of a goose, we will stay in formation with those people who are heading the same way we are.

                When the head goose gets tired, it rotates back in the wing and another goose flies point.

It is sensible to take turns doing demanding jobs, whether with people or with geese flying south.

                Geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.

What message do we give when we honk from behind?

                Finally – and this is important – when a goose gets sick or is wounded by gunshot, and falls out of the formation, two other geese fall out with that goose and follow it down to lend help and protection.  They stay with the fallen goose until it is able to fly or until it dies; and only then do they launch out on their own, or with another formation to catch up with their own group.

If we have the sense of a goose, we will stand by each other like that.